Take back control with The Way of the ‘I’

One of the most common frustrations I hear from working moms in my coaching sessions is the deep sense of being unsupported in their workplaces.

“My managers don’t have kids, so they don’t get what my life is like.”

“My managers have kids, but they’re workaholics and expect the same from me.”

“Even if I switched jobs, nothing would change. ALL companies dismiss the delicate balance we working moms juggle.”

These sentiments are raw, real, and valid. They come from a place of exhaustion and frustration. But here’s the problem: when we frame these struggles as universal, unchangeable truths, they shape the stories we tell ourselves. And those stories define the choices we see as possible.

But let’s take a step back.

First, these statements feel like absolute truths, but they are actually beliefs shaped by personal experiences. When we accept them as indisputable reality, we limit our own ability to explore different possibilities.

Second, these thoughts can become what Bill Burnett and Dave Evans, creators of Design Thinking, call “gravity problems.” A gravity problem is something that is simply beyond our control—like gravity itself. You may have dreamt of flying as a child, but at some point, you accepted that without outside intervention, you’re staying on the ground.

When we resist an unchangeable reality, we drain our energy and end up feeling powerless. The solution? Acceptance. Not in the form of resignation, but as a recognition of what is, so we can shift our focus to what can be changed.

The third issue with these beliefs is that they place power outside of ourselves. Yes, we can and should push for systemic change. Women have fought for and won rights that were once considered impossible—from voting to higher education to leadership roles. But large-scale change is a long journey, requiring time, collective effort, and resilience.

That’s why I want to offer another way: The Way of the "I".

Maybe you can’t change your manager. Maybe you can’t change corporate America. But you can change the way you think.

That shift in thinking might mean questioning limiting beliefs. It might mean reframing your circumstances. It might mean taking radical responsibility for the ways in which you are unintentionally keeping yourself stuck. It means shifting your focus from what is outside your control to what is within your power—because that is where true transformation happens.

There’s a proverb I love: "Nothing has changed. I have changed. So everything has changed."

This is my invitation to you: embrace your own transformation.

Yes, it can be difficult to examine our own patterns. Yes, it can be painful to recognize where we’re sabotaging ourselves.

But I promise you this: When you commit to your vision for your life as a working mom—when you align your actions with that vision, when you take ownership of your power—you become free.

So before you go, take a moment to reflect:

• What stories do you tell yourself about your workplace? Are they absolute truths or beliefs shaped by experience?

• In what ways are you resisting reality, and how is that resistance affecting your sense of power?

• What is one small shift you can make today to reclaim control over your experience?

Your journey starts with awareness. I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!